"从小时侯起，就会很努力记住细小的东西，潜意识里，我对失去无比敏感，而且很早就意识到一切都不会一直存在．那些小细节可以帮我留住很多美好．夏天里某种花露水的香气，某天中午阳光变成微妙的乳白色，高一时候和路雪出的一种巧克力冰淇淋，雨滴毫无预料地落在头发上的一瞬间，七月早晨喝的一杯酸奶，阳光特定时刻的完美角度，教室窗外天空中偶尔飘过的一朵小小的云，冬天说话时的白汽．．．美的东西是从上帝的手指缝里落下来的小灰尘．在小角落里发光．对我来说，它们就是通往过去的一个个路标，在多年以后，只要循着这些路标一路走去，就能到达我的昨日，那些最明媚的时光．"

--------------------------------------------              by V              ---------------------------------------------

一面之交，整整四年在同一个校园，只见过一面。发过几封邮件，一些短信。看着这个blog, 却感觉在晃如隔梦的前世渊源中，隔岸眺望着自己的背影。伸手想去抓住，但遥不可及。氤氲的雾气模糊了对岸的视野，可并不妨艾那背影被神秘的深深烙在潜意识的夹层中，萦绕在美好记忆和忧伤的隔段里。那是她的回忆，也是我的，不是么？

Sunset Blvd

Where am I? 

Staircase of reality.

What am I?

A joke.

举国同哀的时候

年初的雪灾，西藏的暴乱，火炬传递的抗议，到现在汶川的地震。多灾多难的流年。我的祖国啊，请接受我深夜十分为你的祈祷。请原谅我曾经说过我不为自己的祖国自豪的话语。虽然我真的难有为你而感到自豪，就象一个叛逆的儿子向自己犯过罪的父亲投射出失望的眼神，但是无论我怎样为你的历史感到失望，当这一年无数的灾难降临的时候，我听着不知哪里的歌曲，靠在椅子上，莫名的，恣意的，忍受着的和你同样的惆怅。

Paying the mortgage

It's been a long time since I last aspired to make up those ten things I listed to accomplish before I turn into my thirties. Time passes by without notice. Those days of innocent dreams trumpeted in the name of youth loom as only presumptuous fanfares that marked my ignorance. I wasn't paying attention until now I realized I was only living in borrowed time and borrowed dimes.

Dreams of bubbles boiled down to reality. I couldn't help but to repent for those days where I couldn't resist but to waste my life. I thought I was going die remorselessly for the way I lived, and the very self I hammered. How can I be more wrong? The irreparable damage, the irreplaceable fear and panics staggers my bearings. I am only 23. Yet I live like a 76 year old who cries over the reminiscent photos, cringe before the formidable prospects of deaths.

I can't waste any of my time now. I'll start paying the mortgage. Heal the wounds. Carry on, for the time I lost.